Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Needy Spouses Need a Life

I'm all for hanging out with my husband, but do I need to spend every living moment with him? Hell no! 
Many of my friends are retired and what I hear most often is that either the husband is needy or it's the wife. Here's what I mean by needy. One or the other wants to spend as much time with his/her spouse as they can. Unfortunately, the other spouse is more independent and would like to do things independently from the spouse. Several years ago, one of my colleagues, who is much younger than her husband, quit her full time job because her retired husband wanted to spend more time with her. I could see she wasn't happy about it, but he was miserable, so she quit.
Marriage works great when the two individuals are truly that, individuals. It's wonderful when each one has his/her own interests and hobbies. There is plenty of time to hang out like going on vacation, dinner and breakfast, weekend dates, etc. I can't imagine what people would have to talk about if they did everything together. Ok, I'm not a talker, but really how much can two people talk about if they hang out together 24/7?
When I retire, I intend to continue doing my own thing. I might volunteer at the Humane Society or the local library, or I might take up painting like President Bush, or I might  start a new venture. Who knows? But, I don't intend on taking up golf or fishing, so I can be with him. 
I want him to continue doing what he does, and I want to begin doing what Iwant to do. As for the young folks, I say get a life and don't be needy. Really, it's not appealing nor is it productive.

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